How to Change a System You Don’t Like

The painting I made in the park yesterday.

Greetings! I’ve been reflecting! Curious if this resonates, and if it does, I’d be grateful if you’d share into your community. Thanks for reading and for being here with me. ✨

How to change a system you don’t like:

1. Envision something better.

Better because it feels peaceful and joyful at the same time.

Not better because it squashes the people who have been mean. The only reason they’re being mean is because they feel bad inside.

When we feel bad, we do bad things.

Everything from hurting the feelings of our loved ones to committing mass mayhem across a nation, it all comes from the same bad feelings inside.

When you’re envisioning something better be sure that it’s better because the idea of it makes you feel better.

Because it feels fun and enjoyable and authentic and good.

Remember that when you feel good, you do good things.

2. Know that you can change the system.

If you hear voices that say “you can’t do that“ overwrite them with a stronger and more loving message from within yourself, that you can.

Of course you can.

You’re a human being with wonderful ideas and a beautiful soul.

Systems can be changed in peaceful ways that embrace and uphold everyone.. but only if you believe in this as a possibility.

3. Get some quality Me Time. Time just with yourself.

Where you can do what you enjoy doing from the heart. Not because you’re role modeling for somebody else, not because of any reason except that it feels good and you enjoy doing it.

This is especially important when big things are happening.

Someone I love was in a car fire on Monday.

The car was totaled.

They are safe and okay… And there have been a lot of very loud thoughts in here about it all. The kind of thoughts that keep me up at night.

By Thursday, my sleep, digestion, and internal systems were so disrupted that it finally prompted me to remember: I need some Me Time.

I prioritized that.

After a long nap, a couple of very delicious street tacos and time in the park making a painting, I remembered an important learning for me.

It’s good for me when I am enjoying myself.

It’s good for the world when I am enjoying myself.

I have permission to enjoy myself.

I wonder what your Me Time learning is, or will be?

I’d love to hear.

4. See what ideas arise during and after the Me Time.

Write them down.

Reflect on them and their “how might we…” openness.

Your ideas might surprise you! I know that a few of mine have surprised me.

The ones that surprised me most have turned out to be the best ideas and the ones that I ended up acting on.

They’ve changed my life and helped me change multiple systems in a fun, fulfilling way.

5. Sustainably – that’s crucial – act on these ideas.

In a simple way, one at a time.

Close the loops as you go.

Take note of the ones that you wish to do, but can’t do quite yet.

As best you can, bring patience. Sometimes it takes a while for your ideas to come to fruition.

If you stick with it, sustainably, they will.

Remember to choose the ones that feel best.

Those that come from a place of enthusiasm and peace inside yourself.

You’ll know the right ones.

And even if you don’t know – just pick one. You won’t choose incorrectly. You’ll make something amazing and you’ll learn.

6. Watch in amazement as these systems actually do change.

In small ways at first.

Things that used to derail you don’t anymore.

You’re seeing from a different perspective and you can bring compassion to every situation.

You can mind your own business and let others mind theirs at a greater and greater order of magnitude.

These original little changes ripple out. Before you know it, this will have happened!

If you’re anything like me, bringing attention to your own growth and your own trajectory – in a healthy way of well-being, minding your own business and letting others mind theirs – it’ll happen as you’re enjoying your life.

One day you’ll look up and realize – you’ve created something beautiful.

You yourself will feel loved and supported. Part of an awesome community of people creatively, contentedly, joyfully doing good.

This will help you as you look ahead and out around yourself.

You’ll have an awareness of greater and greater systems.

Those that have already been changed for the better – and those that you’ll feel empowered to act on for a positive future.

You’ll know how to help change the systems so that everyone feels supported and loved to be ourselves in our work, life, and play.

You’ll know how to feel good inside. You’ll understand that this – you feeling good inside – is what helps others feel good inside.

You’ll understand that the more of us that feel good inside, the more of a ripple effect this has.

You’ll understand that ultimately

This is how we all feel good

And then lo and behold…

We are all doing good things.

Thank you for your contributions. They mean a lot, as do you.

With love and respect,

✨Kay

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About Kay

Kay Lock Kolp is a coach, podcast host, writer, and artist who helps people achieve wholeness and well-being. After experiencing a health crisis in 2011 that limited her mobility, Kay embarked on a transformative journey of self-discovery.

She now coaches clients to envision bold futures while taking manageable steps toward their goals, with a special focus on supporting leaders, creators, and first responders. Kay demonstrated her resilience by hiking England's Coast-to-Coast Path solo in 2023, an experience that embodies her philosophy of gentle, persistent self-actualization.

As a host for Pathfinders For Good, Kay shares stories that amplify positive change, emphasizing that authentic self-care creates ripple effects that benefit others. Her approach blends vulnerability, compassion, and practical support to help clients create meaningful transformation in their lives and communities.